This blog is adapted from one of our recent podcast episodes. You can take a listen at the button above.
If you're a parent looking into therapy for your teen in Springfield, Missouri, you probably have a lot of questions. What happens at the first appointment? How does privacy work when your child is a teenager? Will you be involved? And if a practice specializes in EMDR, does that mean your teen has to have been through something traumatic?
Before I answer any of that, I want to say thank you for considering trusting us with your child. It is not easy to send your kid into a room with someone, especially at a point when they may be feeling vulnerable. I don't take that trust lightly. As a parent myself, I want to take really good care of your family, and of your teen.
In this post, part of our Therapy for Teens series, I'll walk you through exactly what starting teen therapy looks like at Seen Therapy Services: the free consultation, how we build rapport, how privacy works for teenagers, how we handle different goals between parents and teens, and how EMDR fits into teen therapy.
Key Takeaways
In this post, you'll learn:
What happens during the free consultation call for teen therapy
Why we ask for one to three sessions to see whether rapport is developing
How scheduling works, including our weekly cancellation list
How privacy works for teens in therapy, and when parents are contacted
Why we assess whether a teen's goals and a parent's goals line up
How EMDR therapy works with teenagers, and why a teen doesn't need to have experienced major trauma for it to help
Step 1: A Free Consultation Call
The first step is a free consultation call with you, the parent or caregiver.
Sometimes teenagers reach out to us directly, so part of this call is simply confirming that therapy is something you'd like to pursue for your child.
It's also a time for us to assess good fit. We ask questions that help us know whether there's somewhere else we should refer you, either first or instead of us. In every free consultation, whether it's for an adult or a teen, we do our very best not to have you spend any resources with us if we aren't going to be the best fit for you right now.
Why We Ask for One to Three Sessions
When a parent reaches out for their teen, assessing fit looks a little different. We can assess it from our perspective and yours, but we can't gauge how the conversation flows with our actual future client, because the future client is your teenager.
So here's what I tell parents on consultation calls: give us one to three sessions with your kiddo. If we aren't seeing rapport develop, and it doesn't seem reasonable to expect trust to be established, we'll tell you. Then you can decide to do something different, which is completely understandable.
What we won't do is get 12 sessions in and say, "We really haven't made progress, and we think it's because a relationship isn't developing." We'll do our very best in those first few sessions to build rapport, trust, and a good relationship with your teen, and then move forward from there.
Scheduling Options
During the consultation, we'll also talk through scheduling, including whether your teen would be best served by:
A recurring appointment, or
Our cancellation list, where you receive a text once a week with that week's openings and let us know what works for you.
We'll also share a little about EMDR and give you a general picture of how our practice works.
Step 2: Understanding How Privacy Works for Teens in Therapy
We go over privacy in the consultation call, and then again in your teen's first session. It's one of the most important things to understand going in.
Here's how I explain it to both teens and parents: privacy works the same for teenagers as it does for adults, with one difference.
When I work with an adult and safety concerns come up, I ask them to identify someone I can reach out to as a resource if those concerns increase. With teenagers, there's a default person: you, the parent or guardian.
When Parents Are Contacted
If safety concerns develop, meaning a teen is actively thinking about harming themselves or someone else, you'll be the first call we make. We'll reach you and let you know what our concerns are.
That's one of the reasons we ask that you be available by phone during your teen's sessions. If your child is 16 or older and can transport themselves, you don't have to physically come to our office. But if a safety concern comes up during a session, we need to be able to call you and talk it through.
Respecting Your Teen's Privacy
Outside of safety concerns, we ask that you respect your teen's privacy in therapy and allow us to encourage them to loop you in.
I want you to be very involved, because I'm a short-term resource for your child, and you're the long-term one. But your teen leads that process, with my encouragement. In an ideal world, a teenager wants their parent closely involved and sees them as a key support in maintaining their mental health. We can encourage that. We can't control it.
Step 3: Making Sure Everyone's Goals Line Up
Something we do with teens that looks different from our work with adults: in the first couple of sessions, we assess whether the parent's goals for therapy and the teen's goals for therapy align.
How much of a gap is there?
Is the gap significant enough that we need to address it together?
This comes up often. Many teenagers see the problem they're facing very differently than their parents do. If there's a significant difference, we may say something like, "There's a pretty big difference between what you'd like to accomplish here and what your parents would like to accomplish. Can we process that?"
Again, we encourage teens to bring that conversation to their parents, with our help. We can't force it, but that's our hope.
Step 4: How EMDR Therapy Works for Teens
Seen Therapy Services is an EMDR specialty practice. Whether your teen comes to us or you come to us as an adult, you'll experience at least some of the phases of EMDR at some point. We're upfront about that in the initial consultation.
Starting With Core Beliefs
With teenagers, I often start case conceptualization with a cognition, or core belief.
Here's a simple example. Say a teen comes in, and every time they struggle on a test or even a homework assignment, the belief that comes up is "I'm stupid."
If that were just a passing thought, it probably wouldn't affect them much. But typically it's a core belief they hold. So we work with that teen to identify the memories and experiences that support the belief "I'm stupid."
What's Actually Happening in EMDR
In EMDR, we work to desensitize those experiences. Another way I explain it: we take the power away from them.
What's actually happening when we do that is integrating new information throughout the brain. What experiences show that "I'm stupid" isn't true? How do we let those experiences inform the whole brain?
The mechanism I think is most likely at work in EMDR is taxing the working memory. When we tax working memory, it's as if barriers in the brain come down, and that new information can finally reach and change "I'm stupid."
How EMDR Differs From CBT
This is different from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which I believe is still the most commonly used therapy modality in the United States. The way we'd address "I'm stupid" in EMDR is very different from how it would be approached in CBT.
Your Teen Doesn't Need a "Big T" Trauma for EMDR to Help
This is important: centering our care around EMDR does not mean your teen has experienced a huge, significant trauma.
Sometimes they have. A teen might come to us after a recent car accident or another experience that clearly stands out as traumatic. But that doesn't have to be the case for EMDR to be effective in reducing symptoms.
EMDR addresses how past experiences affect your day-to-day life. If a teen walks through every day with the core belief "I'm stupid," that has a significant impact. If EMDR can nearly eliminate that belief as a variable in their day, they'll interact with the world very differently. That's what we hope for so many of the teenagers we see.
Where to Learn More About EMDR
EMDRIA (emdria.org), the EMDR International Association, is EMDR's accrediting body and a great resource for parents.
Our EMDR Therapy page and EMDR Intensives page explain more about how we use EMDR at Seen Therapy Services.
Earlier episodes of the Seen Podcast, including our full eight-phase EMDR series, go in depth.
Questions Before Your Teen Gets Started?
It's a privilege when you choose to let us walk alongside your child through adolescence. As a parent myself, I take parent questions very seriously and want to be as accessible as I can before your teen starts care.
You can reach me directly at cminnick@seentherapy.org, or book a free consultation below. Seen Therapy Services offers therapy for teens in person in Springfield, Missouri, and via telehealth throughout Missouri.
📅 Schedule a free consultation →
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start therapy for my teen at Seen Therapy Services?
Start by scheduling a free phone consultation. During the call, we'll confirm you'd like to pursue therapy for your teen, assess whether we're the best fit, review scheduling options, explain how privacy works, and share an overview of EMDR.
Do parents find out what their teen says in therapy?
Privacy works for teens much like it does for adults. Outside of safety concerns, we ask parents to respect their teen's privacy, and we encourage teens to involve their parents in the process. If a teen is actively thinking about harming themselves or someone else, the parent or guardian is the first person we contact.
Do parents need to attend their teen's therapy sessions?
Not necessarily. Teens who are 16 or older and can transport themselves don't need a parent at the office, but we ask that a parent be available by phone during sessions in case a safety concern comes up.
What if my teen doesn't connect with their therapist?
We ask families to give us one to three sessions. If rapport isn't developing in that time, we'll let you know so you can decide whether to try something different.
Does my teen need to have experienced trauma to benefit from EMDR?
No. While EMDR can help teens who have experienced major trauma, it can also reduce symptoms connected to everyday experiences and core beliefs, like a teen who believes "I'm stupid" whenever they struggle in school.
How is EMDR different from CBT for teens?
Both can address negative beliefs, but they approach them differently. EMDR works by identifying the experiences behind a core belief and helping the brain integrate new information, while CBT focuses more directly on identifying and changing thought patterns.
Related Resources
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Hello. Hello. Hello, friends, welcome to the podcast where we simplify everything about mental health. Just kidding. But here's what we are gonna do. We're gonna sit down together a licensed mental health professional, that's me and a regular old Joe as my husband Garth would describe himself. We're gonna talk about the nitty gritty of EMDR, some nervous system mapping, how couples can help each other heal. What's healthy parenting actually look like? Maybe a little bit of good old banter mixed in. All with the goal of making mental health a little bit simpler for you. Quick note, because my lawyer says that I have to, I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. Unless I am. Even if I am. This is still just a podcast. Okay, now have a good listen. Hello, friends. Thanks for stopping in with us to have another listen. Today, we are talking therapy with teens at Scene Therapy Services, our practice here in Springfield, Missouri. Before we get into that, I have a bant obligation, and today, I am going to tell you about something that I am very proud of. Give me just a moment. I did not get it out from under my purse. Okay. This is really just gonna be for the folks that are watching. I wanna show you something that I did with my five-year-old today This is a line drawing of a squirrel. And I would not have previously called myself artistic, but I think I may have a budding second career. I'm just saying, if you have not sat down recently to do some line drawings, you may have a hidden talent. I would encourage you to start with a squirrel. It was incredibly fun. I am very amused with myself and excited to see where this next step in my, my life takes me with all of my line drawing abilities that I did not know I had. Just, just one more time for those of you who are watching the video Squirrel Literally a line drawing of a squirrel, and also figuratively something that will distract me for probably the next month. Okay. I'll let you guys know. I'll update you on how my li- line drawing obsession is going. Therapy for teens at Thane Therapy Services. You'll probably see if you're watching on video that I'm referencing my notes because I have a few bullet points written down, and I'm wanting to make sure that I get this right for you. Because if you are a parent that is interested in coming to us for therapy for your kiddo, for your teen one, I want to tell you thank you for considering trusting us with your child. It is not easy to send your kid into a room with someone at, probably at a point where they are in a vulnerable state. And I do not take that, that trust lightly, and we always want to do our very best to take good care of you, your family. And when you're bringing your, your kiddos in, your teens in I wanna take really good care of them as well. Okay. So I wanna walk you through what it actually looks like to start therapy for your teenager if you are coming to our practice. The first thing that's gonna happen is we are going to have a free consultation call with you to even just confirm, because sometimes we will have teenagers reach out to us directly. So the free consultation with the caregiver parent is to even confirm, like, this is something that you would like to pursue for your kiddo. It's also a time for us to assess for good fit, right? So we are asking questions that would indicate to us if there's anywhere else that we should refer you to first before you come see us or before you see us at all. So we're doing our very best always in a consultation call, in a free consultation call, to not have you spend any resources with us if we are not going to be the best fit for you right now, whether you're an adult or you're a teenager. Now, obviously, that's a little bit different whenever we have parents and guardians reaching out for their teenager. We can assess good fit from our perception and the parent's perception, but we cannot assess good fit as far as, like, how's conversation flowing on the phone because we're not talking to the future client. The future client is the teenager. And so what I will tell parents when I'm on a consultation with them is, "Give us one to three sessions with your kiddo. If we are not seeing that there's rapport developing, if we are not seeing that it's reasonable to think that there's going to be established trust there then we are going to let you know that and give you the opportunity to say, "Hey, we're gonna do something different." And completely understandable, but we're, we're not gonna be 12 sessions in and say, "You know what? We really haven't made any progress, and we think it may be because there's not really a relationship that's developing here." We're gonna do our very best in those first one to three sessions to, to establish rapport, establish good relationship and trust with your kid, and then move forward from there. Okay. So you have the initial consultation with us. In that initial consultation, we offer you some sch- some scheduling options. We talk about whether or not it would be best for your child to be seen on a recurring basis, whether or not it would be best for them to be put on the cancellation list, where they receive, or you receive rather, a text once weekly that says, "Hey, here's our openings for the week. Let us know what works for you." We talk to you a little bit about EMDR, and I'll, I'll loop back to that in a moment Generally, we're giving you an idea of what we do here at the practice. And then one thing that we go over in the consultation call, but then we will reiterate in your first session, is how privacy works for teenagers, and I think that's a really important thing to hit on individually. The way that I will explain it both to teenagers and to their parents is that privacy works the same for teenagers as it does for adults. So for adults, I, when I have safety concerns, I will indicate to an adult, "Hey, we need to have someone that I can reach out to that is a resource for you if these safety concerns would increase." With teenagers, we just have a default person, and that's the caregiver, right? So if a teenager has safety concerns develop, and really that would be something that would indicate to us that they are actively thinking about harming themselves or other people, then you are going to be the first call that we make. We are going to get ahold of you, and we are going to let you know what our concerns are. It's one of the reasons we ask that you are available during sessions for a phone call. You don't have to physically come with your child that's over the age of 16 and able to transport themselves. You don't have to physically come to our office, but if we would have a safety concern come up during the session, we need to be able to call you and discuss that with you. Outside of those safety concerns, we do ask that you respect your child's privacy in therapy sessions and that you allow us to encourage them to loop you in on their participation in therapy. So one of the ways I'll explain this to parents is I want you to be very involved because I am a short-term resource for your child. Your child is leading that though. I am allowing them to lead that process with my encouragement, right? And so in an ideal world, teenager wants their parent to be pretty involved in therapy, wants them to be a, a good support in maintaining, y- you know, their mental health. And we can't control that for them. They have to kind of l- lead that for us. We can encourage it but we can't control it. So that's something in particular that I, I make sure during consultations and then in first sessions we're discussing. Okay, the next thing that we're doing that is a little bit different from when we're working with adults is we're assessing in the first couple of sessions do the parents' or guardians' goals for this client's therapy and the client's goals for therapy, do they align? How much of a gap is there? And is the gap significant enough that we need to address it with everybody? So do we need to say, "Hey, there, there's a pretty significant difference in what you would like to accomplish here versus what your parents would like to accomplish here. Can we process that?" That shows up often. There are oftentimes teenagers who are coming into therapy who see the problem that they are facing very differently than their parents do. And again, we're encouraging them to address that with their parent with our help. We can encourage. We cannot force them into doing that, but our, our hope would be that they, they would bring that up. Okay. Now, what does EMDR look like if you have EMDR specific questions? With teenagers in particular, I notice that the way that I case conceptualize with them oftentimes starts with cognitions. So there are multiple different ways to case conceptualize in EMDR, and I'll give you an example of a simple way to case conceptualize starting with a cognition. So let's say that I have a teenager come in, and every time they have difficulty on a test or even a homework ex- assignment, a belief that's coming up for them is, "I'm stupid," or a cognition that's coming up for them is, is, "I'm stupid." I would argue if it were just a cognition, I used the word cognition earlier, but if it were just a cognition, probably wouldn't affect them very much. But typically, it's a, it's a core belief that they hold. And so we would work with that teenager to identify what memories, what experiences have you had that support that core belief, or as I said earlier, cognition, that I am stupid. And then in EMDR, we work to desensitize, or another way that I'll explain it, take away the power of that experience. Now, what's actually happening in EMDR when we do that? In EMDR, when we work to, quote, "take the power away from that experience," all we're doing is integrating new information throughout the brain. Okay? So I'm stupid. What are experiences that we have had that demonstrate that I'm not stupid, right? And how do we allow those experiences to inform the entire brain that we are in fact not stupid? The mechanism that I think is likely working behind EMDR is taxing the working memory. And when we tax the working memory, we essentially have all of these barriers in the brain that fall down. And we are able to take this new information and have it impact I'm stupid. This is different than cognitive behavioral therapy. Okay? So cognitive behavioral therapy I believe is still the most commonly used modality of therapy here in the United States. And the way that we're attacking I'm stupid in EMDR is very different than the way that you would attack I'm stupid if you were utilizing CBT. So we're an EMDR specialty practice. Whether you're coming to us as a teenager or you're coming to us as an adult you are going to experience at least a portion of the phases of EMDR at some point, and we're upfront with people about that in our initial consultation. So if you are a parent that is seeking out care for your child, EMDRIA is a really good resource, E-M-D-R-I-A. It's our accrediting body. EMDRIA is a really good resource. You can go to their website, and you can learn a lot about EMDR. We have an EMDR specific page on our website. So if you go to seamtherapy.org, and then you go to our EMDR page, we have both an EMDR and an EMDR intensive page where you can learn a lot as well. I won't get further into the nitty-gritty of it. You can also go back in our podcast episodes, and you can learn about, a lot about EMDR there. But I just want to be clear that, that your teenager coming to, to see us for therapy versus an adult coming to see us for therapy, we are still centering our care around EMDR. That does not mean that your teenager has had some huge significant capital T trauma, right? Now, sometimes they have. Sometimes they're, a teenager's coming to us, they've had a recent car accident, they've had something that does stand out as, as really traumatic. But that does not have to be the case in order for EMDR to be effective in reducing their symptoms. When we think about if I'm walking through my day with the core belief of I'm stupid, that's having a pretty significant impact on me. And so if EMDR can almost completely eliminate that as a variable in my day, I'm gonna be interacting with the world pretty differently, and that's what we would like for a lot of the teenagers that, that come in to see us. Okay, I'm gonna run through If you reach out to us for therapy for your kiddo, we are gonna set up a free phone consultation where we are going to work to determine if we're the best fit and provide you information on our practice. In that consultation and in the first session, we're gonna go over privacy rules with you. And from our perspective, the best way to approach privacy with teenagers is to treat them like adults, except that they do not identify their support person, their resource person. That person is by default a parent or guardian. We will assess whether or not the teenager's goals and the parent or guardian's goals match up, to what degree there is a gap between those goals, and if there is a significant gap, we will address that. We will encourage your teenager to include you in the therapy process, but we will be encouraging that, not leading that. We'll be allowing them to lead that. EMDR is a part of our work, whether you're coming in to see us as a teen or as an adult. In EMDR, we are working to address how symptoms impact your day-to-day because of past experience that you have had. That does not mean that your teenager has had a huge, significant trauma recently. It just means that we are looking to reduce symptoms based off of their experience. That is how EMDR approaches symptom reduction. You can learn more at emdria.org or seamtherapy.org, and that is our website. We have a specialty EMDR page, or you can go back and listen to some of the episodes of this podcast. We delve into IM-- EMDR in depth in previous episodes. Thank you so much for your listen. It is a privilege to have your time on this podcast and even more so, a privilege when you choose to allow us to walk with your, your child through their adolescence. If you want to reach me directly, you can reach out to cminnick@seamtherapy.org. When it comes to answering parent questions I take that very seriously as a parent myself and want to be as accessible to you as I can in order to answer your questions before your kiddo gets started with care. Thanks for your listen. Have a good day Well, that's all folks. Please see our show notes for ways to connect with us or go give us a follow on Instagram. You can find us at Simply Mental. If this episode resonated with you, send it over to a friend. Give us a five star rating. Subscribe. Download all the things the cool kids are doing these days. Thanks for having to listen.
About Cassandra Minnick
EMDR Intensive Therapy for Busy Professionals | Trauma & Anxiety Treatment | Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDRIA Certified
I'm an EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapist with over a decade of experience helping adults understand and heal from chronic trauma. My practice focuses on the often-confusing patterns that emerge in adulthood—the behaviors, reactions, and relationship dynamics that don't make sense until we trace them back to their origins.
Chronic trauma doesn't always look like what we expect. It shows up in how we respond to conflict, how we relate to ourselves, and in the persistent feeling that something is "off" even when life looks fine on the surface. I work with clients to make sense of these patterns and create lasting change through EMDR therapy.
I specialize in EMDR intensive therapy—a condensed format that works particularly well for busy professionals who need effective treatment without the commitment of weekly sessions stretched over months or years.
I've been practicing EMDR since 2016, and I'm passionate about helping people move from survival mode to actually living their lives. When you've spent years adapting to trauma, reclaiming yourself is both powerful and possible.
