Therapy for Teens: What Today's Teenagers Are Up Against
This blog is adapted from one of our recent podcast episodes. You can take a listen at the button above.
We are kicking off a brand new series, and this one is close to both of our hearts: teenagers. We've both worked with teens for years. I've worked with them clinically, and Garth is back at it as an educator, teaching at an online school. We also happen to be parents of teenagers and young adults (our oldest two are 19 and 17), along with a five-year-old and a baby. So we've had a front-row seat to how much has changed for this age group, even in the last handful of years.
We’re talking through what we love about this generation of teens, what we see them up against, and one thing I feel strongly that we, as adults, need to stop asking them to carry. Over the rest of the series, we'll get into what therapy actually looks like for teens and how it can help. Today is the foundation.
Content note: This post includes a discussion of suicide. If you or a teen in your life is struggling, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Key Takeaways
In this blog post, you'll learn:
The two strengths we see most in today's teens: they're creative and informed
Why having more options after high school can also mean fewer shared experiences and less built-in community
How technology can wind teens up but can't calm them back down
Why today's teens often have more emotional awareness than emotional regulation skills
Why we believe adults are placing too much responsibility on teens to spot suicide warning signs in their friends
What's coming next in our Therapy for Teens series
What We Love About Today's Teens: Creative and Informed
Before we talk about what teens are up against, I want to start with their strengths: creative and informed.
Creative
Teens today have so much at their fingertips, and when they choose to use those tools for good, they can make things we couldn't have imagined at their age.
Informed
So many teens are aware of their impact on the world in really specific ways, and they care about it. Garth has had students explain that they buy a certain brand of clothing because that company donates to a cause they personally support. If a teen cares about clean water, they know which brands are building wells. They look into who's supporting what, and they spend accordingly. Not every teen, of course. But a lot of them. And that's something to be genuinely proud of.
What Teens Are Up Against Right Now
None of these are necessarily barriers on their own. But they can be.
So Many Options, Fewer Shared Experiences
Teens today have an incredible number of options, especially when it comes to what to do after high school. From one angle, that's wonderful. From another... wow, that is a lot of options.
When Garth and I graduated, the paths were generally: go straight into the workforce, go to trade school, or go to college. And people on the same path were having fairly similar experiences. Not everyone in college lived in a dorm, but a lot of people did.
Now, two 18-year-olds pursuing the same degree can have radically different experiences. One lives on campus. The other completes a fully online program. Same end goal, completely different day-to-day lives.
That can do two things:
It can overwhelm teens with the sheer number of choices.
It can make it harder to find community. I found my people quickly in college, and a huge part of that was being fully immersed in an environment where everyone around me was having a similar experience. As Garth put it, shared experiences build the foundation for friendship. When everyone's path looks different, there are fewer people walking the same road beside you.
Technology Can Wind Us Up, But It Can't Calm Us Down
I know technology gets ragged on constantly. I want to come at it from a slightly different angle.
Tech can upregulate our nervous systems. It's much less able to downregulate them.
Here's what I mean. Say a friend sends you a text that's distressing. Your system gets activated. But there's very little the technology itself can do to bring you back down.
Now imagine your friend said the exact same thing to you in person. They notice your reaction, because they're attuned to you, and maybe they just shift their shoulders toward you. That's enough for your body to go, "Oh. Okay." That's co-regulation, and connection with other people is one of the most powerful ways we settle our nervous systems. You get a quick repair, sometimes without any words at all.
That doesn't happen over text. So we have a generation communicating a ton through technology, getting all of the upregulation that comes with it, without the downregulation.
The Pendulum Is Starting to Swing Back
Here's the hopeful part: a lot of teens are starting to push back. They want more in-person connection. They want offline activities. They want real books. When he shared a digital copy of a novel with his online students, a surprising number reached out asking which physical copy to buy.
We're also seeing more parents guide their teens and preteens toward less screen time. That's changed a lot in the past five or six years. When our oldest was an early teen, very few parents we knew were wary of technology.
Garth and I have a unique vantage point here, parenting kids at 19 and 17 and also at five and one. The difference in how most families approach tech with those two age groups is significant. I don't think we're better parents than people 10 years older than us. They were the guinea pigs, through no fault of their own. Nobody knew what handing a child an iPad would do.
But here's the thing we have to hold: today's teens and young adults were those guinea pig kids. Even as the culture learns and shifts, there will be mental health implications from the first decade and a half of their lives, when we just didn't know yet. Both things are true. We've learned a lot, we need to keep doing better, and these kids had the childhood they had.
More Emotional Awareness, Same Regulation Skills
This one feels a little tricky to say, but I think it's true: this generation has a lot more emotional awareness than previous generations. Certainly more than I had at 16 or 17.
But their emotional regulation skills typically don't match that awareness.
To oversimplify with some random numbers: if at 17 I was aware of my emotions at a four and could regulate at a six, today's teens might be aware at an eight but still regulate at a six. They know more. They're aware of more. But knowing more about the world around you doesn't automatically mean you're better able to cope with it.
Garth added that mental health is such a prevalent topic now that teens really do know about depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Not as buzzwords, but because they've actually looked into it. Sometimes they self-diagnose, or worry about their friends. They have all the information, but they're not always equipped to evaluate it or know what to do with it. As he put it, they're kids with too much info.
It reminds me of what I've told parents of gifted children for years. Your five-year-old might think like a nine-year-old in some ways, but their emotional regulation is still that of a five-year-old (or younger). We're living a version of this right now with our early walker. Being able to get around at 10 months did not come with better judgment. She can just get on more things to fall off of.
Teens can go deeper into emotional understanding than ever. The question is what they do once they get there. That's where support, and sometimes therapy, comes in.
Too Many Places to Belong
Garth raised one more thing we'll dig into later in the series. Teenagers are wired to look for a place to belong, and that's a core part of forming identity. But today there are so many activities, online communities, and identities available that it can become paralyzing to commit to one and really dive in. When Garth was a teen, he had access to maybe four groups he could realistically be part of. Now there are countless options, and that can make finding your place harder, not easier.
We're Asking Teens to Carry Too Much
Content note: this section discusses suicide.
This is something Garth and I have talked about before, and I want to say it clearly: I believe we give teenagers far too much responsibility for watching for signs of suicide in their friends.
It's one thing to hand that responsibility to adults. It's another to hand it to children. And as a culture, through formal discussions in schools, we are telling 15-year-olds that they need to watch their friends' behavior because it could indicate suicide. That's not a burden I carried at 15.
When that messaging goes so far that teens feel they can't take a shower without their phone in case a friend needs them, and I've heard some version of that from a lot of teenagers, it's too much.
To be clear: if a friend tells a teen they have a plan for suicide, I absolutely want that teen to tell a trusted adult. Of course I do. What I'm talking about is teens receiving the message that they are the front line, that they're the ones standing between a friend and a crisis.
The reality is that adult professionals miss signs of suicide. Let's not put that pressure on our children.
Instead, I believe our focus should be on helping teens:
Regulate their emotions
Recognize their own suicidal thoughts if they have them, without panicking
Communicate those thoughts effectively to someone who is not a peer, like a parent, trusted adult, or professional
That's where our energy belongs.
If you or a teen you love is having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
What's Coming in the Therapy for Teens Series
In the coming blog posts, we'll talk about:
What therapy actually looks like with a teenager
How therapy can help teens specifically
How teens find community and a place to belong in today's world
What parents most want to know about how therapy will play out for their kid
How Therapy Can Help Teens
So many of the challenges we talked about come back to the same gap: teens today know a lot, but they don't always have the tools to cope with what they know. Therapy is one place to build those tools: regulation, communication, and a steady adult outside their peer group to talk things through with.
At Seen Therapy Services in Springfield, Missouri, I offer EMDR therapy and counseling in person and via telehealth throughout Missouri. If you're a parent wondering whether therapy could help your teen, a free consultation is a great place to start.
📅 Schedule a free consultation →
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the biggest mental health challenges facing teens today?
Some of the biggest challenges include an overwhelming number of options after high school (with fewer shared experiences to build community), heavy reliance on technology for communication, a gap between high emotional awareness and still-developing emotional regulation skills, and difficulty finding a place to belong among countless activities and communities.
How does technology affect teen mental health?
Technology can activate, or upregulate, the nervous system. For example, a distressing text can spike stress. But technology does little to calm the nervous system back down. In-person connection allows for co-regulation and quick repair, often through subtle body language, which doesn't happen over text.
Why do teens seem more emotionally aware but still struggle with their emotions?
Today's teens have unprecedented access to mental health information, so their emotional awareness is often higher than previous generations'. But emotional regulation skills develop with age and practice, so awareness can outpace a teen's ability to cope with what they're aware of.
Should teenagers be responsible for spotting suicide warning signs in their friends?
If a friend shares a plan for suicide, a teen should always tell a trusted adult. But many clinicians believe teens are being given too much responsibility as the front line of suicide prevention. Instead, the focus can be on helping teens regulate emotions, recognize their own difficult thoughts, and communicate them to a trusted adult. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988.
How can therapy help teenagers?
Therapy can help teens build emotional regulation and communication skills, make sense of the information they're taking in, and have a steady, trusted adult outside their peer group to talk to. It can also help parents understand what their teen is navigating.
Related Resources
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Hello. Hello. Hello, friends, welcome to the podcast where we simplify everything about mental health. Just kidding. But here's what we are gonna do. We're gonna sit down together a licensed mental health professional, that's me and a regular old Joe as my husband Garth would describe himself. We're gonna talk about the nitty gritty of EMDR, some nervous system mapping, how couples can help each other heal. What's healthy parenting actually look like? Maybe a little bit of good old banter mixed in. All with the goal of making mental health a little bit simpler for you. Quick note, because my lawyer says that I have to, I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. Unless I am. Even if I am. This is still just a podcast. Okay, now have a good listen. Hello, friends. We are back to an episode without video recording because honestly, we're sitting on our couch Chillaxing, relaxing on cool Shooting some b-ball. We're not. Just chillaxing on the couch today. Just chillaxing on the couch. And today we are talking about teenagers because we are talking about therapy for teens in this next series. So this is another reason why we will not be having a video recording today because we are just kind of banting a little bit about teenagers. We've, we've got a few points that we wanna hit, but we have both historically worked with teenagers. You are at it again working with teens. Active. Active. And so we're gonna chat a little bit about some of the mental health, Oh, the nuances- Mm ... of you know, the mental health climate with teenagers right now. Yeah. And both, you know, like clinically but also just our, our opinions on what's kind of bringing some, some stuff up for folks in that age range. Yeah. What generation are they now? I don't know. Who knows? What comes after Gen Z? Gen- Have they been named yet? Ooh, I, I don't know. I don't know. Should we look that up? After we get done recording we should. Okay. Yeah. But before we start talking about teenagers, or maybe you have a teenager related bant Will you bant us away, please? Yeah. When you were a teenager, what was your favorite activity? Oh, you did come up with a teenage-related bant. When I was a teenager, what was my favorite activity? Yeah. I mean, I really enjoyed hanging out with you. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. I really enjoyed playing sports. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Particularly running fast. Uh-huh. Some of my f- like favorite times with friends, office waffles comes up in my mind. Office waffles. Office waffles. Can you elaborate on office waffles a little bit? Very fluffy homemade waffles and- Okay ... binging The Office. Wow. Mm-hmm. It was a good time. Okay. How about you? What was your favorite activity as a teenager? I mean, I feel like, I don't know that office waffles was my very favorite, but- Mm-hmm ... I feel like kind of the stereotypical answers, hanging out with my boyfriend, which was you. Sports. Mm-hmm. Those aside, office waffles. Mm-hmm. Really loved office waffles. Yeah. Yeah. Fireworks, dirt bike, and paintballing. Whoa. And hanging out with you. Combined? You know, we never combined all three of those, but that could've been a lot of fun. Yeah. A motorcycle-riding, paintball shooting, firework extravaganza. There's still time, babe. Well, if I crash on a dirt bike today- ... then I'm out of commission for a week and a half. Took 45 seconds to get back out back in the day. I'm single parenting for- Yeah ... 10 days. Is that what you're saying? No, thank you. You can dream. I can dream. I love it. We could probably even type that into AI and p- and provide AI a picture of you, and they could like come up with a, they could produce a video for you, so. I'm not about the AI video. I want the experience. Well, I just offered you the opportunity- Yeah, that's what I mean ... to have the experience- Yeah ... and you turned it down, so. That's okay. Yeah. That, that is the only barrier here- Yes ... is, is you Not the fact that you no longer own a dirt bike, a paintball gun. Sure. Sure, yep. Could get your hands on some fireworks. I could get my hands on some fireworks. I could, I could get one out of three. Oh, man. Okay. Teenagers in therapy, therapy with teenagers, mental health and teenagers. You ready to roll? I suppose. So first thing that we wanted to make sure we talked about, as you and I were chatting just a little bit before we started recording, was what do we enjoy about this generation of teenagers? When we started working with teenagers as professionals that, you know, that was a different set of kids, so it's even, like, evolved. These kids- those kids are grown-ups now. Those kids are- They might have kids ... those kids have kids. And full-time jobs and- Like, big kid jobs and careers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a, a little different. And so when we talk about m- teenagers now and what we feel like their strengths are, you know, it might even look a little bit different than it did- Mm-hmm. For sure ... when we started our careers. But the two words, the two buzzwords that we had for these current teens was creative and informed. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we were processing through, w- you know, what we felt were their strengths, and you kinda, you landed there on creative- Mm-hmm ... and, and informed. And so I'll, I'll let you take it away and elaborate a little bit more, but I'll just briefly say I liked your definition of informed. Like, you had walked me through- Mm-hmm you know, having students who are v- very aware of their impact on the world in really specific ways. Mm-hmm. And care about it. Yeah. And, and care about that. And then we didn't process creative through as much so I'll let you speak to that even more. But elaborate a little bit for us. Yeah. Those, those were your buzzwords. They were. Creative and informed. I think creative in the sense that there's so much at their fingertips, that they can find ways to do things that I couldn't have imagined when I was a teenager. You know, I've had kids who- in jest and fun will find pictures of me online Mm. And they will make mashup videos to the curriculum that I am teaching- Sure ... with my face. Yeah. You know, which is creative, a little disturbing. But it illustrates the, the tools at their fingertips when they choose to utilize them in a advantageous way. For good. They can figure them out in a way that just, there's just so much out there for them to, to grab onto and make something with. And then in form, I've just, you know, I-- The number of kids that I have interacted with as an educator who they buy this brand of clothes, and it's important to them. And why they do it is because, well, this brand donates this percentage to this charity that they support personally, right? And so they wanna support that company in In buying the, their clothing from them. Or- Mm-hmm ... you know, whatever it is. Whether it's clothing or it's, you know, the, the earbuds that they're u- whatever it is, right? The, the food they eat, the, the drinks they drink, right? All of the information, if you care about a cause, to find out who's supporting that is right there. And, and these kids find it. The ones that are passionate about a cause, they say, "Well, I'm passionate about clean water, so this is the brand of water that I buy. This is the-" Mm-hmm "... the clothing that I support because they do this, you know, X, Y, Z for building wells in Africa." Mm-hmm. Or, or whatever it is, right? The, the ability to be informed about your purchases this new generation is keyed in on that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A lot of them. I won't say all of them. Sure. A lot of them. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure, you know, there's so much that we're, we're missing here, r- right, like, to fully encompass an entire generation is- Absolutely ... we're, we're certainly not going to do that today. But we wanted to speak to, you know, what we see as some strengths, and then also talk about some things that we see that they're up against. Yeah. And not, you know, what we're about to speak to, they're not all necessarily barriers. But they can be. You know, I think the, the first thing that we wanted to chat about was the number of options that teenagers have now. Yeah. In a lot of ways, but specifically even, like, what to do after high school. Yeah. And from one perspective, like, that's really great that there are so many options available to these kids. And on the other hand, wow, there are a lot of options available- Yeah ... to these kids. And, That can be, I, I think incredibly overwhelming. You know, a- and even, you know, within the same... Let's say that they, you know, an 18-year-old kid that's just graduated high school, that they decide to go on to college. Even the same two kids the same two kids, even two kids pursuing the same degree- Mm-hmm. Yeah ... their experiences can look so different. You know, one kid decides to live on campus. Another one pursues a completely, you know, fully online degree. Yeah. Those are two radically different experiences- Mm-hmm ... that they're having as they're pursuing the- Same goal ... same, the same- Same end goal ... the same end goal in their education, right? You know, I feel like when you and I graduated high school, it was like generally you go straight into the workforce, you go to trade school, you go to college. Mm-hmm. And for those of us that were going to college, we were having a fairly similar experience. Yeah. Not everybody was going to live in a dorm, but a lot of people were- Right ... who went to college. People going to trade school had a very similar experience to one another. Excuse me. Bless you. And I just don't think that's the case anymore. Mm-hmm. And so I think that does a couple of things. It can overwhelm kids with the number of options they have, and then I think it's also a way in which it's just more difficult to find common ground and community with other people their age. Mm-hmm you know, I had, I think, a unique experience in, like, finding my people really quickly at college. But I think a huge part of that was, like, being fully immersed in an environment where- W- Really per, you know, everyone around me was having a fairly similar experience. Yeah. So- Shared experiences build a foundation for a friendship. Yeah. Yeah, and I, I think that's less common now. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's so many options that everyone has a different path. No one's in the same boat. Yeah, or at least less people are. Yeah. Right? And again, more options isn't, I think, inherently a bad thing. Yeah. But it does, yeah, it decreases the number of people that are gonna have that same shared experience as you. Yeah, for sure. So I think that's one of the things they're up against. You know, technology, I, I know this is one that is ragged on over and over and over again. I wanted to kind of take an angle as we talked about tech with this generation that I haven't heard of before. That doesn't mean that it's not talked about And as I've been listening back to some of our episodes, we've talked about, like, we've been a little less conversational recently, and I think part of that is just getting used to video. But I have been a little bit more formal in my language, too, than I'd like to be. So I'm, as I talk about tech, I'm gonna try to s- use a little bit more just, like, common, like, table talk- Sure ... language. And I think- It's all I have. And I've done nothing with it. I think that tech can upregulate our systems, and it cannot downregulate our systems. Yeah. Yeah. And you and I chatted about that a little bit before we started recording. Like, you get a text message that is distressing to you. Mm-hmm. You- your system is upregulated, right? But, like, tech generally does not downregulate us. Co- like, co-regulation with other people- Mm-hmm ... is the most- Yeah effective way to downregulate. And I guess I'm not being super clear. Like, if, if I receive a text message from a friend that upregulates me- There's very little technology can do to deescalate that for you ... even though it was the way that I got there. Yeah. Like, ultimately it was, it was tech, right? Like, because in theory, let's say that I'm talking to a friend and they say the same thing to me in conversation that they would have over text. Right. Maybe I'm upregulated- Mm ... but then my friend notices and- Like, had no intention of saying anything- Yeah ... that would upregulate me, and then we have a con- Well, now you have a chance to regulate- Right immediately because- Like, we have- Yeah ... a quick repair. Mm-hmm. And maybe words aren't even needed. Yeah. Right? Like, they say something. They rec- they're attuned to me because we're good friends. They recognize, like, my upregulation, and th- maybe they just, like, shift their shoulders towards me- Mm-hmm. Right ... in conversation, right? And that's enough for my body to go like, "Oh." That's not gonna happen over text message. Right. Yeah. So I think that this is a generation that is communicating a, a ton via tech, and they're experiencing the upregulation that comes with that- Yeah ... without the downregulation. I, I will add, though, I, I find it interesting that there is starting to be that swing back. I think we've talked about this before of, like, everything is on a pendulum. Yeah. And so it swings one way, and I think that this generation is starting to push back on that a little bit. This, they've, they wanna do more in-person- And that they're looking for in-person connection. I agree. They wanna do more in-person stuff. They wanna do more offline stuff. They wanna read real books, you know? I teach in an online school, and I provided a resource for a novel we're gonna read that was digital, and the number of kids who reached out to say, "Hey, this is a physical copy that I wanna buy. Is this one, like, does this work?" Mm. And it's like, they, they want real stuff, you know? These are even kids who are in an online school, so they're leaning towards that online experience a little bit more, but, but they still want the real book. Makes me think as a parent, like, if they're already pushing for that for themselves, like, they're, how will they prioritize that for their children? And I think, I don't know, maybe we're just more in tune to parents than we are teenagers, but a lot of the parent friends that we have who are parenting teenagers or preteens, right, they, they seem to be Guiding their, their teens towards more in person, less online That's changed over the past five years. Yeah, for sure. I think so. Like when, when our oldest when she was an early teen- Yeah ... there were not a lot of parents that we were interacting with that were really very weary of technology. Mm-hmm. So I say five years, so, I mean, that was six years ago. Yeah. A lot has changed- Yeah, I think so ... e- even in six years. Yeah, it, it's been, it's been interesting. I, I think that's promising, right? I do too. Yeah. I do think, and I have told parents this, as a parent, we have a unique experience, right? In that our olders, our bigs- Yeah, sure ... are 19 and 17, so we have seen how kind of the like, just the, the average parent is parenting- Yeah 19 and 17-year-olds, and then how the average parent is parenting five and one-year-olds, right? And there is a big difference in tech use between those ages- Yeah ... for most people, not all, but for most people. And I have told parents having that unique experience I am grateful that we are the age we are. Yeah. That we have the awareness that we do with, with tech. I think that people 10 years older than us were really the guinea pigs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And have- No fault of their own ... no fault of their own. Just had technology emerging. It was- It was like, "Do you wanna give your kids an iPad?" Yep. Who knows what that'll turn out like, right? There was no evidence to support what that would do. Yep. They were the guinea pigs, and it's not that we are better parents. It's just the time and space that- Yeah ... we, we were born and then that we've had kids. I think that they have learned a lot, and we have been able to learn a lot from them. Now, all that said, teenagers and young adults right now- Mm-hmm ... they were those guinea pig kids. Yeah, they w- they were. And so even as we're seeing some, like, promising change where people are moving towards in-person activity in-person activities, people are- becoming a little more leery of tech. You know, I think like AI glasses I have heard like the sales for those are, you know, they're not- Yeah hitting the metrics they thought they would hit. Like, people are becoming more cautious, and still- Yeah ... there are going to be mental health implications from the first decade and a half- Yeah ... of these kids' lives when we just didn't know. And as a culture- Right ... we were just, like, figuring it out. Mm-hmm. So I think we can hold both as, as true. Like, we've learned a lot as a culture. We need to keep doing better as far as being safe and healthy with tech. Yeah. A- and the, these kids have the childhood that, that they had. Right. You know? And there's gonna be some s- some stuff to deal with there. I don't, I don't know. Does that make sense? No, absolutely. Yep. Next thing that we had this one feels a little tricky to me, but I do think it's the case. I think- That this generation of kids has a lot more emotional awareness- Mm. Yeah ... than previous generations have had. Sure. Certainly than I had- I buy that ... at, at 17. Yep. 16, 17. Like, definitely their emotional regulation does not typically match their emotional awareness. Mm. Mm-hmm. Like, their emotional regulation skills do not typically match their level of emotional awareness. Which I think is typical of teenagers. You don't regulate your emotions well as a teenager. Yeah. So- So having this amount of awareness becomes an ac- an accentuated problem. Yeah. This oversimplifies it, right? But, like, if, if I was aware of my emotions at, like, a four- Yeah ... and I had emotional regulation skills at, like, a six- Yeah Then this generation is aware of their emotions at, like, an eight. Mm-hmm. But their emotional regulation skills are still at a six. Yeah. Those are random numbers, right? Sure. But it's like- But, yeah ... so I think again, and part of that is access to information, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, they, they do. They just know more. They know more, they're aware of more. But there is a difference between knowing more and then being able to then do something- Mm ... about it, right? Yeah. And so I do think there's this gap between there's an increase in emotional awareness, but I don't know that there's an increase in emotional regulation. Mm-hmm. That's something that they're up against. Well, and I think there's also just such an exposure. Mental health is so much more prevalent as a topic- Yes ... right now. So the kids know about depression. The kids know. They, they know- The kids know ... about anxiety, they know about bipolar. They, you know, they, they know about all these things, and, like, actually know about them, not just they've heard them and they want to, like, use that buzzword. Mm-hmm. They've, like, looked into it. They understand it. And sometimes they self-diagnose or diagnose their friends with, with something- Yes ... that then they become concerned about. But it, it's this idea that they have all of the information right at their fingertips, but then what to do with it, they're just sometimes not equipped to do with it what needs to be done, whether that's evaluating it or acting on it or whatever. Mm-hmm. I think they're just, they're just kids. Mm-hmm. They're kids with too much info. Mm-hmm. It reminds me of what I have told parents for years when they have gifted children. Yeah, yeah. Y- your kid, ... And the, the, again, just numbers that I'm throwing out there. But your kid cognitively your five-year-old cognitively is a nine-year-old. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, with some of their cognitive abilities. However, their emotional regulation skills are still at a five-year-old. Mm-hmm. Maybe even a little younger. Mm-hmm. Maybe more so at a four-year-old, right? And your kid being gifted is, like, that's wonderful. Mm-hmm. It's wonderful that these teenagers are coming in and their emotional awareness is increased. Mm-hmm. However, me knowing more about- The world around me does not automatically mean that I have an increased ability to cope with it. Sure. Yeah. And so I think it's the, yeah, really similar to like having conversations with parents about gifted- Mm-hmm ... children. Same ability to cope, but more information to cope with. Exactly. And sometimes that's hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. You- you've got the same ability to cope as I did as a 17-year-old- Yep ... but you're aware of more. Mm-hmm. That's fodder for anxiety and, you know, all sorts of, you know- Well, we just ex- ... doubt or insecurity or whatever you wanna, yeah. We just experienced some version of this, right? Like, we had a fairly early walker. Yeah. Right? Yep. Her ability to walk before she was one- Yep ... did not incre- like, I, I'm telling that her judgment was not- Nope. Her judgment was no better. Right. And so- Yeah ... now we just have a 10-month-old who can effectively get around, but cannot more effectively than any other 10-month-old make decisions that keep herself safe. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right? She can just get on more stuff to fall and get hurt on. Right. Yeah. So it's like okay, these kids can go into the, the depths of, like, emotional understanding more effectively- Mm-hmm ... but then what do they do when they get there? Right. When the 10-month-old can run into the other room, great, cool. Mm-hmm. But then what's she gonna do when she gets there? Right. Anyway. So the last thing is something that I wanna talk about, but that you and I didn't prep for. Uh-oh. Surprise round. Surprise round. This one's a little heavy. We are gonna talk about suicide, if you wanna be done and not chat about that. I say chat about that. We're gonna chat about that, if that's okay, but if somebody doesn't want to listen, then that would be a time to- Fine for me ... yeah, step away. You and I have discussed this before. I personally think that we give teenagers way too much responsibility in watching for signs of suicide with their friends. Yeah. Like, way too much. Yep. I think we give people too much responsibility in general, but I think it's one thing when we're handing that to grown adults. Sure. And it's another when we're handing it to children. And we are. We're- Mm-hmm ... we n- like, not that's not just, like, an underlying message. Like, collectively as a culture, like, formalized discussions in schools we are telling 15-year-olds that they should be aware of certain behaviors from their friends because it could indicate suicide. That is not a burden that I carried when I was 15. Sure. Yeah. And I think when we are pushing that messaging to the point that kids feel like- They can't go to the shower without their phone because w- what, y- you know- Mm-hmm what if n- a friend needs them? Yeah. And I have heard some version of that story from a lot of teenagers. It, that's that's too far. Yeah. I think we need to pay, putting a lot more effort into telling teenagers, again, it goes back to emotional regulation. Mm-hmm. And I think communication skills. Yeah. Excuse me. I think we need to be paying a lot more attention to providing teenagers resources that if they have suicidal thoughts- Mm-hmm ... that they're able to- Communicate those effectively to people- Recognize- ... who aren't their peers ... yep, recognize those, not panic, and then com- exactly what you said, effectively communicate those to someone who is not a peer. Yeah. That is where our focus should be. It should not be placing the responsibility of recognizing suicidal ideation or even behaviors on another 15-year-old. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. Now granted, do I want 15-year-olds to say something if their friend tells them that they have a plan for suicide? Absolutely. Right. Of course. Absolutely, yeah. Of course I do. But guys, I am talking when kids are receiving the messaging that, like, they are the front line on this, that they, they stand in between y- you know, their friend carrying out a s- you know, a suicidal behavior. Like, that is too much. Yeah Yeah And the reality is that adult professionals miss signs of suicide. For sure. So le- let's not put the pressure of recognizing that on our children. Yeah. Let's teach them how to regulate and teach them how to communicate. Yeah Anyway, I could stand on that soapbox Soapbox. Yeah but I will not, at least for any longer than I have. Yeah. Okay. So this starts our series on teenagers. Mm-hmm. We- Do we have to get all, in all the topics we wanna talk about in this episode? Throw something out there. Not necessarily, but what were you thinking? Well, I, I just had a thought. Teenagers, I think inherently as, as humans want to find a place to belong. And we hinted on this a little bit, the idea that you have too much information. Yeah. Sometimes I think there are too many places to be involved. Mm-hmm. There are too many activities available. There are too many internet communities to be a part of. There are too many identities to, to fall into, that often it's paralyzing to find one that, that you commit to and, like, dive into. Because as- Almost too niched ... almost too niched. Because as humans, we love community, I think. I think that's inherent to our, like, satisfaction in life- Yeah ... is having community. And so when there are so many it gets hard for teenagers to find a place to belong- Mm-hmm ... because there's just so many. You know, we can go more into this some other time, but I just wanted to, if, if we have to mention all the topics- we wanna talk about later in the series, I wanted to get that in there. I think that's an interesting one to look at, is, like, how do teenagers find their place in today's world? Because it's different than it was whenever we were teenagers, right? Mm-hmm So could be, could be interesting. Take a deeper dive into. I've done no research to prepare for this today, but I will. Well, I think, yeah, we were focused earlier on how can options, which can be a good thing, but how can options, increased options after high school be difficult? Mm-hmm. But I, I think what you're speaking to is- Not just after high school. Right. Yeah. Right. You're a teenager, you're forming your identity, you're looking for a community to attach to. Mm-hmm. Well, there's a billion of 'em. When I was a teenager, there were, like, four, that I had access to. Right. You know? That I could legitimately be a part of. Part of that was that you grew up in the middle of nowhere. Not me, I didn't, but you did. Sure. Sure. I think, too, obviously we'll be talking about, like, how can therapy s- help teenagers specifically, what does therapy look like with teenagers- Yeah ... right, like, a lot of parents are interested in how does this actually play out- Yeah ... for my kid, understandably, right? Yep. Okay. As always, thank you for joining. We're- Happy to be here. We're excited to get rolling on, on this series as we address, yeah, what does therapy look like for teens? How can therapy help teenagers? And what are some unique things that teenagers, from our perspective, that we, we see that they're up against right now? Yeah. Okay? All right. Guys all of the things, come back for another listen tell a friend about the podcast. If you're just feeling really pumped give us a like or a download. We appreciate you. Leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Yeah, I say a like, a review. Yeah, leave a review. We- Tell us what you think ... we're on multiple platforms now, so who knows where you're even listening from. How exciting. Who knows? All right. But leave a review and tell us. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye. Well, that's all folks. Please see our show notes for ways to connect with us or go give us a follow on Instagram. You can find us at Simply Mental. If this episode resonated with you, send it over to a friend. Give us a five star rating. 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About Cassandra Minnick
EMDR Intensive Therapy for Busy Professionals | Trauma & Anxiety Treatment | Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDRIA Certified
I'm an EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapist with over a decade of experience helping adults understand and heal from chronic trauma. My practice focuses on the often-confusing patterns that emerge in adulthood—the behaviors, reactions, and relationship dynamics that don't make sense until we trace them back to their origins.
Chronic trauma doesn't always look like what we expect. It shows up in how we respond to conflict, how we relate to ourselves, and in the persistent feeling that something is "off" even when life looks fine on the surface. I work with clients to make sense of these patterns and create lasting change through EMDR therapy.
I specialize in EMDR intensive therapy—a condensed format that works particularly well for busy professionals who need effective treatment without the commitment of weekly sessions stretched over months or years.
I've been practicing EMDR since 2016, and I'm passionate about helping people move from survival mode to actually living their lives. When you've spent years adapting to trauma, reclaiming yourself is both powerful and possible.
